Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
