okay pat passed out under dana's car
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
