Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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