Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize