a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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