All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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