i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize