Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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