You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize