She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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