i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
