I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
