Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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