Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
