So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize