So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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