it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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