how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
