My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You may now shotgun with the bride
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
