she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
