I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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