Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
