sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
