3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
