If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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