just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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