he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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