i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
