I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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