Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
