the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
