i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
