Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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