you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
