Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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