do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im just a social blackout drinker.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
