so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
