I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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