i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
