My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
