i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
