What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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