I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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