When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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