i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
