Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He felt like a one man threesome
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm at about main and main street
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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