I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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