I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize