things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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