hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
