shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
