Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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