He kissed a someone with a penis
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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