***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
