is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
