wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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