my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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