When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
